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Obama expects Exxon Mobil Corp. (XOM) investors to buy him his presidency

Posted August 4, 2008

For Obama and others unfamiliar with the term “margins,” the numbers reported by Exxon Mobil Corp. (XOM) indeed look high. But wait… there’s more!

by J. Christoph Amberger

Baltimore — (TFN): Last week, the Democrats’ Anointed One Barack Obama used a town hall meeting in St. Petersburg, Florida, to outline a new $50 billion economic “stimulus” plan. The purchase of his prospective electorate is to be paid for by a “windfall tax” on oil company profits.

Obama said he wants Congress to approve another round of economic stimulus checks of around $1,000 for the average household by fall.

“The notion that oil companies that have been making record profits, hand over fist, can’t give a little bit of that back to make sure that not just drivers but senior citizens on fixed income are going to have the ability to pay for heating this winter, which is going to be a huge potential problem — I don’t think that’s too much to ask,” he said in an NPR interview with Michelle Norris.

Indeed, for those unfamiliar with the term “margins,” the numbers reported by Exxon Mobil Corp. (XOM) indeed look high. “Record,” even. Hand-over-fist,” as Democrats and presidential candidates would say. XOM reported second-quarter earnings of $11.68 billion last Thursday: Net income for the April-June period came to $2.22 a share, up from $10.26 billion, or $1.83 a share, a year ago.

Total revenue rose 40 percent to $138.1 billion from $98.4 billion in the year-earlier quarter. For the first six months of 2008, Exxon Mobil said it earned $22.57 billion, or $4.25 a share, from $19.54 billion, or $3.45 a share, in the first half of 2007.

Which works out to a margin of… drumroll… 8.9%.

Our modern Robin Hood has discovered an additional source of popularity that could cinch the presidency for him: Companies making 9% profits.

I’d just love to help out. Here’s a great tool for Democrats to uncover more companies with “windfall” profits: The Yahoo Stock Screener! It’s a veritable divining rod for evil capitalists: Specify all those capitalist bloodsuckers making more than 10% on their revenues and you come up with 2,338 publicly traded companies.

Tax ‘em all and buy all the heating oil, gasoline, and jet skis for everyone who’d vote for him.

There is even a precedent for this strategy to presidential success: Hugo Chavez has quite successfully applied it in Venezuela. Welcome, then, to Petro-Communism Made in USA!

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Posted by J. Christoph Amberger · Filed Under Oil and Energy 

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